45. Ikigai and Me
I started the new year with no New Year’s resolution. “No expectation, no disappointment” mantra have upheld my sanity in most circumstances & interactions with some people last year & it hopefully it continues.
It’s a tough blanket to take comfort under I must admit but it helps in the long run. It dampens the blow.
If I throw this blanket over my breast cancer it helps to take away anxiousness every time I have a medical appointment. “It is what it is” mantra was born out of this.
Self-help guide or motivational books & I haven’t had a good relationship for years & we don’t go hand-in-hand. Without offending anyone, right now am allergic to the ones which says “how to get rid of cancer”. Am sure it would have helped many, so they have to exist. We are, after all, individuals with our own stories. One size doesn’t fit all. The problem with me is I’m always in a hurry to find something in the beginning pages to identify myself with, to identify the connection to my very own problems or issues. I stop reading when I feel it’s not about me, even if it is in the end. It is almost as if they need to talk about me, the way I have it & not deviate to someone’s else’s problems. Sometimes, I already have a pre-conceived solution & look for affirmation of it in the books. I’m sure a therapist will say I am in denial!
Anyway, have come to a balanced cognitive mental conclusion that no one is going to write with me in mind! I just need to find, accept & apply where possible & relevant. And who says you cannot disagree with the contents, especially when it hits you in the right spot! Some books give hope, while some tear at your core thinking, & some shake off your self pity. It gives food for thoughts if anything at all.
My youngest sis Geeth gave me “The Little Book of ikigai” by Ken Mogi, during my visit home last year. Having inspired by it herself, she thought I’d be too. I mentally told myself to give it a chance. And give myself a chance as well. Plus my love for Japan & its culture gave me the bias platform.
I have it by my favourite sofa. Haven’t finished the book but no hurry. Small steps (starting small) just like the first pillar of ikigai. I read a page or two when my head & heart are not on good terms with each other. Or when I simply need to read something comforting for the moment. I sometimes go back to re-read to have a silent debate. It has become part of my comfort blanket.
The whole book may not have the answers you look for, perhaps some words, some lines, some paragraphs, some pages, some chapters may open the doors. Maybe there are no answers but you come up with it.
No, am not paid to promote this book but I find it simple & relevant. For me. For the moment. For my chemo brain. I need to start soft, no heavy, deep, punch-in-the-stomach kind of stuff, no heavenly awakening. Just want to be in the moment. It is perhaps where I am right now in this journey. To find relevance & harmony with my mantra “it is what it is“. That’s my personal take on it. And I agree to disagree otherwise. For now.
I’m still here, with my red lip stick, still dancing, still obsessed with my new hair, still crazy me, still irritate some, & yet vulnerable as a human being. I’m as good as can be. And I still have my conversation with my invisible faithful friend, God.
It is what it is, amen.
Thank you for still sticking around with me on this crazy journey🙏🏽
Love & hugs to all 💖
I heard the Whispers of “my thoughts” ….“you are the reason”
Feb 2024